Until the day, I found I’ve lost you.
In our bygone days I don’t know what pain is,
except when I cut myself or get bruised when I play.
I cry for the throbbing wound but still with no worries
for your soothing heart speaks more than what your lips can say.
Back then in my childish mind you are everything,
deep within my heart you’re the reason why I’m striving.
You’re a friend and a mentor, you are all in one,
you just didn’t realize I’m your number one fan.
I used to say I’d grow up just like you,
and I talk proudly of you among my schoolmates and friends.
“Someone” I told them, “who can take away the blue,”
“She’s like a magic fairy, all heartache she mends!”
But life is said to be a bittersweet,
laughter died down at the moment, adversity came to greet.
I was confused and stunned to you I wanna cling,
yet you’re nowhere to be found, you left me with nothing.
The foundation of my being seemed to collapse when you go;
Your disappearance without a given reason was more than a blow.
From then, mornings found me full of woe,
and the nights I made pass with a wet pillow.
I tried to understand you in every way I can,
for I heard you eloped with your beloved man.
Was it from our wild family that you want to get free?
Or was it real happiness you search for that’s why you flee?
I long for your return from dawn to dusk.
I seemed to forget that I should continue with my task.
I realized then that the world won’t stop turning even if I cry,
nor would it change if I didn’t even try.
So back on my feet I trudge on the path;
alone now, I had to face life’s wrath.
Like a good soldier, I continue with the battle;
Though wounded and beaten, I chose to struggle.
I tried to be insensitive of what you’ve done,
though you left your obligation, the mistake cant be undone.
To resent you was the thing I had so avoided,
despite letting me feel that in your life I’m not needed.
What happened to us made me more eager,
to excel in school and become an achiever.
I had the hopes within me, I knew you’d be home sooner;
you’d be proud and we’d be happy, the past wouldn’t matter.
Then later I realized my beliefs were all wrong,
waiting for you seemed to last forever.
I kept my spirit up, I wanted to stay strong’
but the passing of day proved life to be tougher.
Then came the time when I had to say goodbye to childhood,
I had grown in all aspect, with an ever-changing mood.
Being a teen was of all the hardest part:
the world was once again a stranger with a new battle to start.
All around I received injustice;
subjected to criticisms, i forgot what is bliss.
The society was judgmental and prejudiced;
people are really hard to please.
I was never into playing the blame game,
Yet in my despondency, I put you the shame.
If you didn’t leave our lives won’t be the same,
people wouldn’t gossip about or make fun of my name.
At one point I’m drowned with self-pity,
but after all that happened, could anybody blame me?
You’re not there in the moments that I needed you the most;
a best friend, a mother, I have all lost.
Through the times that I,m so confused,
my head swimming with thoughts, my brain so abused.
You weren’t near to answer all my questions,
then again on my own I have to learn the lessons.
Indecision followed one another in succession,
but nobody’s around to give good advice.
I take the risks with my own precautions,
I could only depend on myself so I must be wise.
One thing that struck me through the passing of time,
love can only be veiled but can never sublime;
so despite the sorrow gnawing within my heart,
I still hope for a new day that we can both start.
Then one day you just appeared from nowhere.
My heart was leaping out, I’m no longer in despair.
I ran home from school upon hearing the good news,
but who are those with you, I’m grasping for clues.
I would have jumped and yelled but I could only stare,
I have a lot to say but words wouldn’t come out.
I so wanted to hug you yet I couldn’t dare;
there was but my tears to speak for my muted mouth.
One look and I knew how sorry you are,
but at that same moment though near you seemed so far.
You have a new happy family where your world is revolving,
I am but an add up to your home in the making.
Oblivion to the world, my mind went back to the very day,
when you swore you’ll never leave me, not like my father, you’ll stay.
How stupid I am for I forgot to ask you,
“Would you keep your promises just as I do?”
And now the promises were broken,
And an innocent heart cut open,
The moments of yesteryear’s was never to return,
Acceptance is a must to learn...